10-Mile Run

Photo attribution: http://www.flickr.com/photos/yourdon/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

 

Running!  The act of putting one foot in front of the other, and propelling oneself forward, at speed.  Once upon a time, I couldn’t stand doing it.  It was boring, it was painful, it made me nauseous, and it was something my dad was obsessed with, and God knows, I didn’t want anything to do with his interests back then.  But one thing I’ve always had an excess of was energy.  Insane amounts of energy, actually.  I had always been a walker, walking distances other, car-bound mortals found preposterous, even in the pedestrian purgatory of suburban Pittsburgh during high school and college.  Running and I were clearly on a collision course with destiny, and it was just a matter of when it would finally become an obsession for me, not if.  The extreme effort required of me to recover from a particularly nasty accident I suffered in my early 20s was the foundation for this obsession, and then moving back home to the walker’s paradise of New York City became the catalyst.

Not long after finally completely moving back to New York in 2010, I began running regularly, first managing regular 3-mile, 30-minute runs, then graduating to 4 and 5-mile runs.  But it wasn’t until I took on the only slightly psychotic challenge of running a full marathon, like my father many times before me, that I fell head-over-heels for it.  Training for the 2013 Pittsburgh Marathon sent me on 8, 10, and 12-mile runs, culminating in a complete marathon.  Once that was done, I was officially hooked, and now, I easily run a total of 25 to 35 miles every week.  I cannot go a week without running anymore.  It doesn’t matter if it’s 10 degrees and there’s a blinding snowstorm outside, I will go running if I feel that I need to.

People really don’t understand this.  Running, to people who don’t do it regularly, is the exclusive property of the insane.  Running for more than 20 minutes, much less for 120, without stopping, is utter madness to most.  There are times when I’m describing a particularly long run to someone, and I feel as if I’m describing a visit to the Planet Zarkon in the 8th Dimension to them.  I might as well be speaking Klingon, they really just don’t get it.  “How do you not get bored?”  “How do you keep going?”  “What does it feel like?”  “What do you do to pass the time?”

With all of this in mind, as I ran a particularly intense 10 miles from Boerum Hill, Brooklyn to Astoria, Queens last Saturday, I made  a point of paying attention to what I was thinking, feeling and seeing as I went, so that I would be able to share with you, gentle non-running readers, just what it’s like to run this seemingly magical distance.  Running on the street in New York is always interesting, to say the least, so there was a lot to make a note of.  But it won’t be as deep or informative as you might be expecting…

Here was my route…

I was in Brooklyn to look at an apartment for my upcoming move at the end of April, and decided to go in my running clothes so I could take off right afterwards.  I rode the 2 Train from Fulton Street in Manhattan, saw the apartment, then took off.

 

START: NEVINS STREET, BOERUM HILL, BROOKLYN

Beautiful day, beautiful weather, wearing shorts and a short-sleeved shirt while running for the first time in ages, here we go!  Let’s go south first.  Maybe I can run through Park Slope, or all the way to Coney Island, or something.  I’ve always wanted to run that way.  Yeah, I’m gonna run that way!

.5 MILE: WARREN STREET, BOERUM HILL, BROOKLYN

Yeah, screw it, I don’t want to go to Coney Island.  It’s all flat from here to the ocean, and that means dodging strollers in Park Slope.  Let’s go north, instead!  Maybe I’ll run over one of the bridges into Manhattan, eventually.

1 MILE: ATLANTIC AVENUE, BOERUM HILL, BROOKLYN

Oh, hey, a group of slightly-scary looking old guys of some variety.  Hello, gentlemen, please don’t look at me.  I wonder if the fact that I’m all in black, including my socks, makes me more intimidating?  Wait, why am I going east?  I’m going away from Manhattan.  …Huh.  North.  I was going north.  What’s a good avenue to go north on?  Bedford goes all the way to Greenpoint, and right through the middle of Williamsburg…  And it’s Saturday, so there won’t be 800 Hasidim looking at me like I’m an alien as I run through South Williamsburg.  Yeah, okay, Bedford.

2 MILES: LAFAYETTE AVENUE, CLINTON HILL, BROOKLYN

Clinton Hill is really pretty.  The brownstones are ridiculous.  My God, what a beautiful day!  This winter has been freaking horrible.  I really want to run in this kind of weather all of the time.  Clearly, I need to move to San Francisco.  GAH!  STROLLERS!  Okay, now I’m in the middle of the street, squeezed between parked cars and driving cars, because FREAKING STROLLERS.  Damn strollers.

3 MILES: BEDFORD AVENUE, BEDFORD-STUYVESANT, BROOKLYN

Holy crap, this area has gentrified.  But still, it’s kind of depressing that trash pickup clearly becomes less of a concern the moment you cross east of Classon.  It’s like the city doesn’t even care.  Oh, hey, some scary looking guys.  Hello, scary looking guys!  Please ignore my sensitive nature, and focus entirely on my 6’2″ height.  …I’m getting sick of listing to “Vale Decem“.  Why do I keep listening to “Vale Decem”?  It’s basically a funeral dirge.  What does that say about me?

4 MILES: BEDFORD AVENUE, WILLIAMSBURG, BROOKLYN

Okay, I clearly miscalculated on the “no Hasidim glowering at me” thing.  Wow, that was a stare.  It can’t be me and my hairy legs scandalizing that guy, it must be that I’m like some kind of omen, like a reminder of scandalously dressed attractive female runners.  “BEWARE!  SHIKSA FOLLOW IN MY GENTILE WAKE!!”  Under the bridge, and here comes hipster Williamsburg.  HOLY CRAP!  WHERE THE HECK DID ALL OF THESE PEOPLE COME FROM???  Whoa, whoa, whoa!  People, stop walking your damn bikes on the sidewalk!  Oh, God, all the boxes of records inexplicably being sold on the curb!  …Did I just see a 20-year-old guy with a full-blown prospector beard dressed like Captain Jack Harkness?

5 MILES: BEDFORD AVENUE, GREENPOINT, BROOKLYN

Okay, then, legs hurting a bit now.  Hipsters and their bikes…  Dodging all of that didn’t help my ankles.  And wow, I’m still hurting from that demented SoulCycle class on Thursday…  Wait.  Wasn’t I going to go back into Manhattan?  Queensboro!  Let’s run over the Queensboro Bridge, I haven’t done that in ages.  So, I need to find McGuinness, so I can go into Queens over the Pulaski Bridge.  …How long have I been running, anyway?  …I seriously need to get off of this Doctor Who kick.  I’ve listened to “The Long Song” way too many times now.  Again with the ominous singing…

6 MILES: MCGUINNESS BOULEVARD, GREENPOINT, BROOKLYN

Why am I smelling poop right now?  Seriously, that is one hell of a poop smell.  Like I’m smelling a gigantic pile of alien poop.  …That’s underneath the Pulaski Bridge for some reason.  …Oh, great, climbing now.  Okay, this hurts.  A lot.  No, no!  Sing along, damn it!  “Waaaaaaaaake uuuuuuuuuuup…   Waaaaaaaaake uuuuuuuuuuup…  And let the clooooooooak of liiiiiiiiiiife…”  Oh, I love this view of Midtown.

7 MILES: 11TH STREET, LONG ISLAND CITY (HUNTERS POINT), QUEENS

Probably should have gone up Jackson Avenue.  This is one seriously abandoned street.  Well, there’s the bridge.  Hmm…  I feel like the climb up the ramp will kill me…  You know what I’ve never done?  Run across the Triborough Bridge!  That can’t be that far away, right?  And it gives me an excuse to run into Astoria.  I’m not hurting that much, I can make it.  Let’s go!  But first: no more Doctor Who music.

8 MILES: QUEENS PLAZA NORTH, LONG ISLAND CITY, QUEENS

“Arm yourself, because no one else here will save yooooooooou!  And the odds will betraaaaaaaaaay yooooooooou!  And I will replace yooooooooou!”

9 MILES: 31ST STREET, ASTORIA, QUEENS

Good GOD, that N Train is loud up there.  I wonder how much further I could go?  Could I run all the way into Harlem, across both bridge spans?  That would be awesome.  I’m definitely going to give that a try.  Oh, hey, is that girl high fiving me?  She totally is!  BAM, high five!  Whoo!  I am a runner, damn it!

10 MILES: HOYT AVENUE NORTH, ASTORIA, QUEENS

Cute, kid.  Try to spot check me with a basketball.  I’m older than you and I have more insurance.  Where the heck is the entrance to the bridge?  Oh, there it is.  Wait.  Wait, is that-

FINISH: ROBERT F. KENNEDY BRIDGE (TRIBOROUGH BRIDGE-EAST RIVER SUSPENSION BRIDGE SEGMENT), WARDS ISLAND, MANHATTAN

Damn it, damn it, damn it, that staircase did me in.  Why is there a staircase instead of a ramp?!  I can’t run up that without destroying myself!  Oh, to hell with it.  I’ll just walk into Harlem.  90 minutes of running isn’t bad, Christian.  …There are a lot of homeless people’s abandoned blankets on here.  I sense this isn’t a frequently used bridge walkway.

*Walks onto Wards Island, realizes toes are bleeding, decides to just get on the M35 bus back into Manhattan, then takes a 5 Train from 125th Street back down to Bowling Green.  Caffeine and a night of dancing followed.*

 

March 26, 2014
New York, NY

All the Nerdy Tears

Photo attribution: http://www.flickr.com/photos/a_t_ljungberg/ / CC BY 2.0

 

Everybody cries, just as much as everybody poops.  It’s usually not for the best reasons.  It could be because you lost a loved one, or you’ve stubbed your toe, or you’ve just realized that the nice supervillain that you work for bought you the Denver Broncos instead of the Dallas Cowboys. But sometimes, letting the waterworks flow is liberating.  It makes you feel alive, even if it’s in a sort of horrible way.  You feel, therefore you are, which can be good.  Pain can be numbing, make everything feel pointless, useless.  A good cry can make it all feel very vital and real, and, in effect, give you a jumping off point to start recovering.  It’s an essential part of grief and coping.  This might explain why there’s an instinct, of sorts, in most people to seek out things that make them sad.

Where does one go when they want to feel sad, and all they have to work with is a remote and a Netflix account?  An episode of a science fiction series usually isn’t the first place you think of.  But, surprise, surprise, some of the most intense television-induced crying sessions around can come at the hands of science fiction and fantasy television.  In fact, it might be the best place to go when you want to feel that way.  I’ve long maintained that the reason shy or socially awkward people are associated with science fiction and fantasy isn’t because liking that type of fiction makes you more likely to have those traits, it’s because that type of fiction speaks to the lonely and shy more than other fiction does.  When your actual reality isn’t very happy at the moment, who wants to think about the real, contemporary world?  Why not escape into a world that is set in the future, or in some other reality?  By that same token, if you’re feeling sad and want to cry because you just lost a pet, or your dream wedding didn’t turn out like you thought it would, won’t watching something that takes place in the contemporary world make all the sadness from your situation, all the “feels,” as the Internets are saying, even stronger?  No, you want to cry by relating to similar pain, not the exact same pain!  Enter sci-fi and fantasy, where you can cry about a really sad breakup between two aliens on a planet in another star system, and not have to consciously relate it to your own situation (even though your subconscious is actually doing just that).

Here’s a good selection to start with.  Bring tissues.

-SPOILERS FOR THE EPISODES IN QUESTION FOLLOW!  SKIP ANY YOU MAY WANT TO WATCH!-

 

Quantum Leap – “M.I.A.” (1990)

Quantum Leap (1989-1993) is a series that many people, sadly, have forgotten about.  In short, it was about a time traveler named Sam Beckett, played by the always affable Scott Bakula, who was stuck travelling through time, replacing specific people at specific times so that he could “put right what once went wrong.”  He was alone, trapped, lost in time, and was forced to help fix other people’s lives, but never his own, in the hopes that he could eventually “leap” home.  It just reeks of sad moments, doesn’t it?  To be sure, there were a lot of tear jerker episodes, but the second season finale “M.I.A.” takes the cake.

Sam’s “observer,” Admiral Al Calavicci, played by Dean Stockwell, Sam’s only companion, who appears to him and only him as a hologram transmitted from the future, fought in the Vietnam War, and was taken as a P.O.W. from 1969 until 1973.  During that time, his wife, Beth, who believed him dead, remarried, leaving the eventually emancipated Al completely destroyed and heartbroken.  During the episode, Sam is dropped into the time period when Al is missing, and in the proximity of Beth.  Al, realizing the opportunity, spends much of the episode lying his head off to Sam about what he is there to do, trying to convince Sam to tell Beth that he’s alive and well and will be home soon.  It doesn’t take Sam long to realize that he isn’t there for Al or Beth, and cannot change their lives.  This leads to one of the most devastating moments in the series, as Al, a holographic projection Beth cannot see or hear, “dances” with Beth as she dances by herself to “their” song, Ray Lewis’ “Georgia,” pleading with her to wait for him, that he’s out there and alive.  Sam, who finishes what he’s actually there to do, leaps out while this is happening, removing Al’s projection from the timeframe, with the episode ending on Beth, dancing alone, and crying for reasons she doesn’t understand, mumbling a quiet “…Al?”

The sadness level of this episode is a bit dulled by the fact that this specific moment and event is revisited in the series finale, “Mirror Image,” three years later, effectively neutering its impact.  But viewed on its own, it’s tremendously sad and powerful.

LEVEL OF FEELS: Your parents just told you that Santa Claus doesn’t exist.

 

Star Trek: The Next Generation – “The Inner Light” (1992)

Everyone knows Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994), and everyone knows this episode.  In fact, the theme from it, played on a solitary flute, ranks among the most well-known pieces of non-title television music in history.

Enterprise encounters a probe that immediately renders Patrick Stewart’s Captain Picard unconscious with some kind of transmission.  When he wakes up, he’s on a planet he’s never seen before, Kataan, and everyone insists that his name is Kamin, and that he’s from there, married, and is recovering from some sort of severe illness that gave him delusions.  Picard is, of course, immediately suspicious, and refuses to believe anything he is being told, but as time passes, he begins to become a part of the world’s society, and even has children, and learns to play a native flute and a specific melody.  As Picard gets older and older, the gravity of the situation on Kataan begins to settle in.  The planet’s sun is becoming more luminous, scorching the surface and bathing the world in ultraviolet radiation.  Everything is dying, and the Kataanian civilization, which is pre-atomic, can’t escape the planet.  Picard, or Kamin, as he’s accepted being over the decades, tries to help in any way he can, but ultimately, at the very end of his life and now a widower, he is helpless to save the world.

One day, “Kamin’s” now adult children take him to watch a mysterious rocket launch, where he sees everyone he’s known over the decades on Kataan young and alive again.  They explain that the rocket is carrying a probe, the probe the Enterprise encountered in space.  The probe is full of the memories and experiences of their world, and will interface with the first sentient mind it finds, giving them a full life on Kataan, and letting them see how the Kataanians met their end, so that someone, anyone, would remember and know who they were.  Picard, finally understanding, sees the rocket launch, and then wakes up on the Enterprise as himself again.  Only 25 minutes have passed.  The probe, which, he is told, originated in a system that went nova a thousand years earlier, is dormant now, and inside it, the crew finds Kamin’s flute.  The episode ends with Picard in his quarters, playing the music he learned in his other “life,” quietly paying respect to an entire world that only he remembers.

This one is an absolute classic, and even won the Hugo Award for Best Dramatic Presentation in 1993.  If you aren’t at least misting up when Kamin’s wife shows up young and alive again, you’re probably a soulless automaton.

LEVEL OF FEELS: You discover your pet goldfish floating upside-down in its tank when you’re only 8.

 

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – “The Visitor” (1995)

Oh, for the love of Gort, this one.  Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993-1999) has always been the redheaded stepchild of the Star Trek franchise, thanks to being the only series set on a space station instead of on a mobile starship.  I happen to think that worked to its great advantage, since people kept coming to them instead of the other way around, creating a massive cast of secondary and tertiary characters that kept visiting the station.  It really felt like it was part of a big, wide world, and the ship-based shows sometimes didn’t.  DS9 really hit its stride in its third season, and then hit it out of the park in Season Four, starting with this, just the second episode of the season.

The episode opens in the Louisiana bayou, which is definitely a first for the franchise, in the home of a very aged Jake Sisko, the son of the series’ lead, Captain Benjamin Sisko.  A young woman has found his home, desperate to speak to the author of her favorite books, who published just two successful novels and then never wrote again, becoming a recluse.  He begins to tell her his story.

Decades earlier, in the late 24th century world we’re familiar with in the series, Captain Sisko and his son, Jake, are involved in a, shall we say, “timey-wimey” accident while aboard the station’s resident patrol ship, Defiant.  Sisko appears to be vaporized, and disappears into subspace.  His father presumed dead, the 18-year-old Jake struggles to go on with his life, but keeps encountering his father, appearing as he did at the moment of the accident.  At first, no one believes him, but eventually, it is apparent that what Jake is experiencing is real, and that Captain Sisko is popping back into the regular space time continuum periodically for brief stints, effectively frozen in time in-between.  At first, Jake is overjoyed, thinking he can get his father back, but Sisko is never in his reality for long enough, and eventually, his regular appearances become a painful obsession for Jake as he ages.  He loses his wife, gives up on his writing, and becomes an emotionally stunted recluse.  Finally catching back up with the time at the beginning of the story, Jake finishes his tale, revealing that he figured out the exact time his father will appear next, and that this will be the last time he seems him.  He hands a third, unpublished and finished book to the now devastated young woman, asking her to leave.  Sisko appears again, and Jake reveals that he has injected himself with a fatal dose of poison, having realized that he was pulling his father through time like a zipper, and that if his thread were cut, his father might go back to the moment of the accident.  Sisko is horrified, and cradles his now elderly son in his arms as he dies, before suddenly finding himself back on the Defiant some 60 years earlier.  Avoiding the accident this time, Sisko and his son return home, Sisko shaken and astonished at the love his son truly has for him.

This one is sold by Tony Todd‘s heartbreaking performance as the adult and elderly Jake, and Avery Brooks‘ always powerful performance as Captain Sisko.  Rather than filling you with despairing sadness, “The Visitor” hits you with the “other” Jake’s six decade sacrifice, and how beautiful, if almost hopeless, his love for his father was.  If it hadn’t worked out, of course, the feelings it would have elicited would have been far darker.  But such as it is…

LEVEL OF FEELS: Your cat dies of feline AIDS after contracting it from the cheap cat food you kept buying.

 

Babylon 5 – “Sleeping in Light” (1998)

Babylon 5 (1993-1998) was a pioneer in serialized storytelling in American television.  Every show has season or series-long arcs now, but once upon a time, B5 was fairly unique.  Structured like a five act novel, the entire fifth, and final, season acts as a denouement.  And this episode, “Sleeping in Light,” is the whole story’s epilogue, jumping ahead 19 years from the previous, penultimate episode.  Describing the backstory of this one would require describing all five years of the show, so let’s not do that.  And I don’t want to completely spoil this thing.  Briefly put…

John Sheridan, the series’ lead character, is dying, and he knows he is.  20 years earlier, he was brought back to life and told he had a 20 year extension on life.  Time is almost up, and so his wife, Delenn, calls together all of their old friends and comrades for one last meeting.  What follows isn’t another episode of the series, in the traditional sense.  It’s more like attending a long wake for an old friend.  We see Sheridan say goodbye to everyone one last time, then goodbye to his wife in an utterly heartbreaking scene.  He goes on one last “Sunday drive,” as he calls it, on his own, visiting the Babylon 5 station again.  The station, too, is at the end of its life, all but abandoned and about to be decommissioned.  Its mission is over, and now it’s just a giant navigational hazard.

Finally, Sheridan returns to the Coriana System, where the Shadow War ended 20 years earlier, where he was supposed to return at the end, and finds Lorien, the ancient alien that brought him back to life, waiting for him there.  The death scene that follows is incredibly unique by television standards, as Sheridan quietly, peacefully, sadly faces his end, and Lorien engulfs him in light (with mysterious implications).  Smiling, Sheridan utters his last words, “well, look at that…The sun’s coming up,” and disappears.

Then, just to put another knife in the audience, we get to see the surviving characters assemble one last time to say goodbye to the station itself, as it’s shut down (by the show’s creator, J. Michael Straczynski, in a cameo, no less), and then blown up in slow motion as a crescendo of sad but triumphant music plays!

…And then we get to see everyone moving on with their lives, except Delenn, who, it is said, watches the sun come up by herself every morning for the rest of her life.  The show actually ends on Delenn reaching out to the sun, with the shot fading to white.  Gah!  Excuse me, there’s something in my eye.

Bruce Boxleitner and Mira Furlan hit it out of the park here, as Sheridan and Delenn, respectively, but the emotions mean a lot more if you’ve watched the show from the beginning.  By itself, though, the scenes with Delenn and Sheridan should still bring a tear to your eye.  But watching that station go up just kills you if you watched the whole series.

LEVEL OF FEELS: You find out that your mom was a porn star in the ’70s with the stage name “Breastzilla.”

 

Doctor Who – “Doomsday” (2006)

Oh, God.  God!  This show.  This damned show.  Doctor Who (1963-1989, 1996, 2005-Present) is ostensibly a “family” science fiction show, and yes, it can feel a bit childish at times.  But for a family show, people sure die a lot!  I’m serious, this show has a higher body count than Hannibal Lecter.  People get vaporized, blown out of airlocks, mutilated by cybernetic monsters, absorbed into fat alien creatures, dropped off of buildings, shot, stabbed, drowned, dissected…  You name it, they’ve killed it.  The show even lampshades it, with The Doctor exclaiming in the episode “The Doctor Dances,” “just this once, everybody lives!”

So, yes, you’ll frequently be devastated by the deaths of characters, including The Doctor himself, who periodically “dies” and is reborn, or “regenerated,” thanks to a species-specific quirk.  But the show isn’t content to just break your heart that way.  Oh, no.  It gets creative.  Honestly, picking just one episode from this thing was a tall order, with the last part of “The War Games,” the last part of “The Hand of Fear,” “Father’s Day,” “The Family of Blood,” “Journey’s End,” the second part of “The End of Time,” and “The Angels Take Manhattan” all being worthy contenders.  But a lot of those require pre-existing investment in the series.  Let’s go with the most obvious one, the one that anyone will cry to the ending of.  The finale of the rebooted series’ Series Two, “Doomsday.”

What precedes the ending is irrelevant here.  All you need to know is that Rose, The Doctor’s companion, has been travelling with The Doctor for years, and is clearly in love with him (despite him being a nigh-immortal alien), and he’s clearly in love with her, and they are just the best together.  At the end of this episode, Rose gets stuck in a parallel universe through a series of very complicated events.  Suffice to say, she’s stuck there, there’s no way back, The Doctor can’t get to her.  That’s bad enough, right?

Oh, no.  No, no, no.  See, some time later, Rose starts hearing The Doctor calling to her in her sleep, telling her to go to a specific place.  So she goes, and finds a projection of The Doctor waiting for her on a beach in Alternate Norway.  They can’t touch, only talk, and they only have minutes before the last cracks in the universe close.  Rose has made a life for herself in her new home, but is destroyed that The Doctor is going to be alone again.  Breaking down, she finally says “I love you.”  I swear, this is what actually happens next.  First, he pulls a damned Han Solo:

ROSE: I… I love you.

THE DOCTOR: Quite right, too.

And then, and then:

THE DOCTOR: And I suppose, if it’s my last chance to say it…  Rose Tyler-

AND THEN HE DISAPPEARS.  Cracks closed, they’ll never see each other again.  God!

Billie Piper as Rose and David Tennant as The Doctor do a great job here, and effectively kill you, assuming you have a romantic bone in your body.  Even if you have just a small one, it will suffice.  You will be dead.  Now, the hilarious scene that immediately follows, ending the episode, serves as a bit of a sadness killjoy, as do events from Series Four.  But on its own?  God, it hurts!

LEVEL OF FEELS: Your entire family just burned to death in a gigantic orphanage fire that was started when you were trying to give a Viking funeral to your cat that died of feline AIDS that you gave it by feeding it bad cat food.

 

New York, NY
March 11, 2014